


The Deputy

by dc4me44



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, contains references to various movies and tv series, established swan queen, it's badly written and we can do much better with the fic, no hoo's mentioned outside the disclaimer they're not in this story, other random characters - Freeform, swan queen is endgame, the show can fuck off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:52:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6692197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dc4me44/pseuds/dc4me44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After her time alone with Emma is interrupted for the 100th time, Regina decides to expand the sheriff department and she convinces Emma to hire a deputy, or two. Established SQ, no Hoo's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This idea was inspired by a convo I had on twitter some 3 weeks ago. I really like the idea and asked the people if I could make a fic. They said I can. So this story was born. It contains elements from "The Heat", "Parks and Rec" and "The 100" for now. But I might expand the list as the story progresses.
> 
> Established SwanQueen and as always no H00s. In fact this disclaimer is the only part you'll see them mentioned. No beta for this, so all mistakes are my own. I apologize in advance, as I know there might be some mistakes since English is not my first language. Let me know what you think.

 

"No you can't do that"

 

"Why not?

 

"Because that's not how things are done here"

 

"This is dumb"

 

"No, it's standard procedure"

 

"It's boring. I went from one boring thing to another. I was promised adventure"

 

"I promised no such thing"

 

"I agree with her here. It did sound like we would embark on an adventure. I quote " _Are you a team player? Do you strive for justice? Do you want to be part of a team that is result driven and has a hands on approach? Do you strive to be part of the most dynamic team in this town and be at the forefront of where all action and adventure takes place? If you answered yes to all of these questions than go no further and apply for a position within the Sheriff department"_ end quote"

 

"Did you memorize that?"

 

" I have really good memory"

 

"Oh. Still be that as it may, Tink you are not allowed to throw a watermelon at a guy's head to stop him"

 

"But that chick did it when she chased the guy…"

 

"That's a movie. It's not real."

 

"So are fairy-tales. Your point sheriff?"

 

Emma just covers her eyes,  she feels a headache is imminent. Why did she think this was a good idea?

 

…..

 

_2 weeks before - Saturday night_

 

"Ahh fuck."

 

"Ignore it."

 

"I can't."

 

"Emma, damn it if you don't finish what you started so help me…", but Regina never manages to finish her threat as Emma has already left her to answer the phone. Regina just covers her eyes in frustration and hears Emma speak on the phone.

 

"Sheriff Swan. What's your emergency?"

 

Regina just watches Emma talk on the phone all professional and authoritative, as if she was merely on patrol 30 seconds ago, and not between Regina's legs, trying to give Regina " _the best orgasm of her life_ ". She feels so frustrated and angry. She feels the desire to murder whoever called and interrupted what was becoming a really good orgasm.

 

"... Ok.  I'm on my way" Emma ends the call and rapidly gets dressed with magic. Regina can feel her chest swell with pride at how Emma seems so in tune with her magic.

 

Emma approaches the bed and gives Regina a long kiss on the lips,  a kiss that makes Regina humms in approval and sparks a wave of arousal through her again. Oh how Emma can make her come undone with a simple kiss. When they break apart Emma looks apologetic at Regina.

 

"Sorry, my love,  I'll make it up to you, I promise. I just have to go take care of this."

 

Regina just feels so many emotions in this moment and so strongly all she can do is nod and say a simple

 

"Ok. See you later and I'll hold you up on that promise"

 

"I love you"

 

"I love you too, Emma."

 

\---------

 

They should know better than to start something like this when Emma's on call. Problem is Emma's always on call or it just feels that way. This is not the first time they were interrupted while having sex. There were also many family nights that were interrupted. After the events in Camelot and the underworld Storybrooke became quite a hub for people in different realms. Suffice to say Storybrooke grew and with it the crime rate grew as well.

 

For a while there Storybrooke used to be a quiet town,  where the sheriff's only job was to rescue cats out of trees, run after Pongo or give parking and speeding tickets. Emma's day to day job changed considerably in the past year though. As it stood right now it was barely manageable between Emma and her father, and both were starting to show signs of fatigue.

 

Regina herself is getting fed up with the frequent interruptions to their time together. They've been together for more than a year (1 year, 3 months and 17 days, not that she's counting) and their time together has been cut short countless of times (78 times if she counts tonight, but she's not really keeping a close tally on it). She knows Emma won't ask for help, not on this. She always goes all out in her job as if she's trying to prove that's she can do her job, that she's not some useless sheriff incapable of doing her job because she's too blind or obsessed with something or someone. Deep wounds heal hard and sometimes they leave scars. Regina knows she'll have to take matters into her own hands on this and just present Emma with a solution to the problem she's probably unaware she currently has.

 

With that in mind Regina picks up her laptop and gets to work.

 

\--------

 

On Tuesday, Emma's informed via Regina's secretary that the mayor scheduled a meeting with the sheriff at 2pm that day

 

"I apologize for the late notice,  Madame Mayor just informed me of this meeting a few minutes ago."

 

"Do you know what she wants?"

 

"No, sorry. But she demanded your presence at 2pm."

 

"Ooookay..." Emma drags that word uncertain whether she's in trouble or not. Regina hasn't acted unusual and Emma doesn't think that's she's done anything that might get her in trouble with her wife. She's even made it up to Regina as she promised and Regina was more than happy about it.

 

She starts to think that maybe she forgot something, like the anniversary of some milestone. It's not their marriage anniversary she knows that much, it's also not Regina's birthday or Emma's, so it couldn't be a surprize party.

 

But she doesn't have much time to ponder on the reason why Regina called a meeting with her, because the sheriff station phone goes off and she must go sort some disturbance near the docks.

 

\------

 

Of course the call out will make her late to her meeting with Regina. She's 10 minutes late. Regina won't be too happy, but there's not much she can do about it. There's only one of her and her dad is off since he'll cover the afternoon shift. It's bound to get busy as one of the bars in town has a happy hour time. Emma's sure she'll be called out as well, she just hopes she'll be able to have her dinner in peace with her family.

 

She does realise that she needs help. This situation where it's just her dad and herself taking care of the law and order in this town is starting to take its toll on both of them. She needs to talk this with Regina. She's postponed the issue long enough but it is taking a toll on her and on her personal life.

 

She'll see what Regina wants from her today and, she thinks that if Regina's in a good mood at the end, she'll pitch the idea. Her wife will probably cave in and make space for a second deputy. After all it didn't take Emma long to convince Regina to upgrade the sheriff station equipment.

 

Everything is an if though. Because she's late. Regina will chew her alive. She takes a deep breath and goes into Regina's office after she says a warm _hi_ to Regina's assistant.

 

"Regina, I'm sorry I'm late. I had a call out at the docks"

 

"That's all right Sheriff. Please take a seat."

 

"Umm ok." Emma asks with narrowed eyes, while taking her seat "What's this about? It's this about the paperwork? I'm a bit behind but not by much but I don't have enough time to finish it all. I might finish it in my night shift in 2 days so …"

 

"Emma, relax. Yes I did call you to talk matters relating to the sheriff department. I realise that it's getting harder and harder for you and David to cope with the demands of this job."

 

Emma just breathes a sigh of relief. Seems like her wife beat her to it. She should have known, after all Regina's incredibly invested in Emma's welfare, always making sure Emma wants for nothing. Sure her wife pampers her, but Emma's not complaining. It’s good to be in a relationship where she's loved and the giving and taking is equal.

 

"… so I had a look at the budget and after juggling a few items in the town's budget I made space for the sheriff department to hire 2 more deputies. I've discussed these matters with the city council this morning and they agreed to allow the Sheriff department to hire 2 more people. Not only it allows your father and yourself to have some time off but it also offers employment opportunities for those who are willing to have a career change. I've already contacted the newspaper and the job advertisement will go in tomorrow's newspaper edition. That is if you agree."

 

Emma just stares at Regina. Sure Regina already did all this without asking her, and this should annoy Emma. She's used to discussing any proposed changes with Regina before they even make a decision. Yet Regina made a huge decision on her own and only informed Emma now. At the same time Emma knows it's what she wanted and at least she doesn't have to even try to convince Regina to make space in the budget for a deputy. The third problem was a bit more troublesome: Regina made this decision on her own without consulting Emma, so this looked like something that disturbed Regina. Yet she never said anything.

 

"Not that I'm not happy for this, but why did you make this decision without consulting me and how long have you been planning this?"

 

"Since Sunday" Regina says and she looks a bit reprimanded by Emma.

 

"This Sunday?"

 

"Yes"

 

"What? But I don't get it"

 

"Emma, I was on the verge of a mind blowing orgasm and you stopped because you had to pick up the phone and go to deal with an emergency. Do you know how many times this happened? Because this was not the first time this happened"

 

"Mind blowing orgasm?" Emma asks unable to keep her smugness at bay.

 

"Is that all you've retained from what I've told you?"

 

"No, I got the rest but this is more important."

 

"What will I do with you, Emma?"

 

"Love me? Kiss me?"

 

"I love you very much. As for kissing you, I'm barely containing myself right now. But the sooner this meeting reaches a conclusion…"

 

"Say no more" Emma says raising from her chair and going over to Regina's.  She approaches Regina and turns her chair around. She puts her hands on the armrests of Regina's chair and bends close to Regina's lips. "I was already thinking about all of this on my way to you so the answer is yes."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Yes I'll hire some new deputies, and... "

 

"And?"

 

"And prepare to experience the best kiss of your life"

 

"My, my aren't we cocky all of a sudden, Sheriff?"

 

"You have no idea what I'm capable off, Madame Mayor" and with that Emma closes the gap and kisses Regina.

 

\-------

 

On Wednesday the add goes up in the newspaper. Regina makes an impromptu visit to the sheriff station to make sure Emma and David can conduct an interview and hire someone. She needs competent deputies and for that Emma and David need to know what must be done. Emma assures her it will be fine.

 

By Friday they've had a few applications. Apparently quite a few people had shown interest in the job. Emma decided she'll make a decision on who to interview by Sunday then on Monday invite them for an interview. She guesses Regina will want updates though, after all she came up with the idea and pitched it to Emma. Besides Emma knows her wife to well, she'll want to be involved behind the scenes in all of this.

 

On Monday she's had 5 people up for interview: 2 knights, 1 fairy, 1 warrior and 1 dwarf. In the end she decided on the fairy and the warrior, after all it seemed like a good combo, or so Emma told herself. She's worked with both of them before and the missions were a success so how hard would it be to train them to do some police work. If Emma herself could do it, then so could they. Right?

 

\------

Wrong. She was so wrong. What was she thinking? Getting a super excited fairy and a chill warrior to do the job. More often than not Mulan would just roll her eyes in a "this is so retarded" way. She had war experience, so policing a small town probably didn't seem as exciting as Regina made it look. Plus Mulan had a very direct approach, more so than Emma herself.

 

Then there was Tink. She joined the convent for a bit trying to find her way, but the fairy was too hyperactive for the convent. Hiring Tink seemed like a good idea at the time for several reasons, none of which Emma can remember except for "in your face Blue". She now wonders if it was worth it. The broken watermelon would suggest otherwise. Maybe living in Neverland for so long messed with Tink, it would explain some things. She should probably ask Regina.

 

"Tink, that's not how we do things. We need to interrogate him, not kill him or give him memory loss from head injury"

 

 "Ugh. Well I stopped him"

 

"Lady you almost killed me", oh well the guy is awake. Oh joy.

 

"Yeah, but did you die?"

 

Emma can hear Mulan snort next to her and all Emma an think is someone ban the TV from Tink's life. She should talk to Regina.

 

"Ok, Steve, lets get you to the station" Emma says bending down and handcuffing the guy.

 

\--------

While David is at the station, Emma takes her new deputies to the shooting and training range created by Regina. Well created with magic since Emma still had to be in town and needed the magical protection, or so she argued, when she was training fairytale people. 

 

"As cops you need to know how to use more than one type of fire arm. Now you've had some practice with pistols but I think it's important to know how to safely use and operate this baby here." Emma says pointing to a shotgun. "both of you grab a shotgun".

 

"Now can anyone tell me why it's dangerous to look down the barrel of a shotgun?"

 

"Is this a trick question?" Tink asks already looking down the barrel.

 

"Tink you never ever look down the barrel of a gun. Don't point it at yourself or people in general. Unless you want to shoot them."

 

"So many rules. Don't point he gun at people you don't want to shoot. Make sure you have the safety on. Never let kids handle it. Always use correct ammunition. I'm telling you swords are better. Can I use my sword?"Mulan asks looking almost hopeful at the end.

 

"No." and Emma can't understand what's so special about that sword. Not even David cries after his sword so much. I mean sure it can block fire, but it's no gun.

 

"I think she's concerned for your safety" ahhh Tink coming to the rescue, that's a good thing. Tink speaking something that makes sense. "I mean you're a lesbian, you need a gun for safety, maybe Emma should give you some bullet proof vest and some bullet proof helmet. At the rate lesbians die..." and that lasted for a total of 15 seconds. "hey boss, you have any magical armour for Mulan here that can save her from stray bullets?"

 

"Oh for goodness sake Tink, life is not a movie, there are no stray bullets waiting to hit Mulan"

 

"I'm just saying the odds are not stacked in her favour in any genre"

 

"She'll be fine as long as you don't point any guns at her."

 

"Don't say I didn't warn you"

 

**TBC**

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a SQ story first and foremost so it will feature a lot of our favorite ladies.
> 
> No beta for this, so all mistakes and missing comas are mine.I know it's a super short chapter, but I have something planned that in my opinion would benefit from having its own chapter. Let me know what you think.

By 8 pm Emma manages to make it home. It's been a long day and all she wants is to cuddle next to her wife and son while they finish whatever movie they started watching. She's also in desperate need of some Regina time.

 

When she arrives home, she sees all the lights are off with the exception of the family room. She discards her boots by the door, but then turns back and puts them in their rightful place. She's whipped, she knows it and she doesn't care. She needs her wife. She's tired and she's grumpy and she needs Regina. With that thought in mind she goes towards the family room. She sees Regina sitting on the couch watching a medical drama, not that she cares too much what Regina's watching. She just goes to the couch and collapses in Regina's arms. Regina just mutes the TV, and turns to hug her and give her a kiss which Emma's more than happy to receive.

 

"How was your day?"

 

"Ugh"

 

"That good?"

 

"Ugh. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep"

 

"I thought getting deputies would make it easier"

 

"It should. In theory at least. It was never this hard with David. I just thought that you know it will be ok to train Tink and Mulan and they seemed by far the most open and friendly and competent candidates, but ...ugh"

 

"Did Mulan ask for her sword again?"

 

"Yes. Only once, but she did."

 

"You should let her carry it. I do not understand why you're so bend on not letting her"

 

"Because this is America and in this day and age people don't carry swords"

 

"Still, maybe you should consider it. She's quite skilled with it, or so I've heard. What about Tink? What did she do today?"

 

"She threw a watermelon at a guys head, then looked down the barrel of a gun, then suggested I give Mulan a magic armor to protect her from stray bullets."

 

"Hmmm."

 

"What?"

 

"Magical armour against bullets doesn't sound so bad. I will admit I was thinking of giving you something like that. But I decided against it. You're a responsible adult, who has a family and would not get herself in life threatening situations. Right Emma?"

 

"Err, right"

 

"You did not sound that sure. Is there anything I should know?" Regina says narrowing hr eyes.

 

"Nope. Where's Henry?"

 

"At Gold's. He needed some help from Belle on this project he's doing so he decided he will spend the night there"

 

Emma's smile just becomes bigger.

 

"Well" Emma says as she readjusts herself in Regina's arms, straddling her hips so that she would directly face her wife, "I was hoping to have some alone time with you tonight" she says as she bends down to kiss Regina's lips.

 

"Alone time? Hmm I really like where this is going." and then Regina closes the gap and kisses Emma.

 

\-----

 

They somehow made it to their bed though Emma doesn't remember the details of how or really why. She remembers Regina saying something about comfort and "I have a surprise for you sheriff". Now they're both fully satiated and content, lying together in bed, talking sweet nothings and kissing from time to time, until...

 

"I have to say Emma, the deputies are already earning my respect for allowing us to have an uninterrupted night together."

 

"Why did you bring work in this? I was actually enjoying myself for a moment here"

 

"Don't be such a baby." Emma frowns at that but then Regina continues "I was merely praising the amazing idea I had. I was hoping you were going to say something about it."

 

"I don't know" Emma says dragging out the words...

 

"Oh please. We get uninterrupted time since your dad can call someone else in if he needs help, and I'm highly entertained whenever you tell me about your day. So win-win"

 

"For you. You don't have to go through it day in and day out"

 

"Would you rather we were interrupted again? Or would you rather have the looming fear of interruption hang over us every time?"

 

"No. You're right"

 

"And?"

 

"And it was brilliant idea." Emma says going in for a kiss which Regina deepens in no time.

 

\-------

 

The afternoon finds Emma stuck doing paperwork at the station.

 

 _"Now that you have 3 deputies, Sheriff, I expect to have the paperwork on time."_ if she didn't know any better, Emma would have thought that Regina allowed her to have 2 more deputies only so Emma would do all the paperwork. She would take chasing Pongo in a cold winter rainy day over this. Ok not really, but she would rather give parking tickets, than sit here doing paperwork. It felt so bad being stuck in the office on a day like this. Besides, the office still looked a bit gloomy. She should get Regina to upgrade the design of the station to something more modern, less gloomy, and more chill.

 

"Ahem" Someone clears their throat and Emma looks up. She was so lost in thought she didn't even notice someone had entered the station. Not good. She looks up and sees Ava and Paige looking at her.

 

"Hey. What can I do for you?" And Emma just leans back in her chair, arms crossed but happy to have a distraction. However the moment of happiness is soon gone realising that maybe something serious happened, why otherwise would she have 2 teenagers at the sheriff station?

 

Paige elbows Ava to start talking, and Emma can see they're both quite nervous. Now Emma's alarmed.

 

"Umm, so Paige and I wanted to know if Deputy Hua was in today."

 

"She's on patrol. But I can help if you want."

 

"Umm no, that's OK. Thanks anyway."

 

 _The nerve on kids these days_ Emma feels her eyebrow twitch in frustration just thinking of it.

 

"If this is police business then I will be informed anyway, so it might be easy if you just tell me."

 

Paige and Ava look at one another, somewhat at a loss as to what to do. Paige clears her throat and decides to finally tell Emma.

 

"Well, umm, we are doing a school project and we need deputy Hua's help" Emma is now super suspicious. Ok, if it was a school project they would have told her right away, so what gives?

 

"What school project?"

 

Paige just looks at Ava with a " _should we tell her look?”_ Ava just shrugs her shoulders.

 

"Ava and I decided to work on a comic book, and we need to talk to deputy Hua, as we want the main character to be based on her"

 

"Is that right? Wow. So what will the story be like?"

 

"Well, it will be about a person from medieval era being stuck in the modern era and she joins the police force. So we need insights"

 

"I can help with some of that"

 

"No offense, Sheriff, but you didn't live in medieval times." Ava just says looking at Emma in a really judgy way. Ok what did she do wrong?

 

"Well. Tink is also due back in 5 minutes, you could also ask her"

 

Ava just groans in frustration and rolls her eyes.

 

"She doesn't meet the criteria."

 

"Person who grew up in the Medieval Era and joins the police force. Ok…"

 

Ava just groans and turns to Paige

 

"See? This is why our story would be a hit. She's very generic so we need to find the niche in the market. So my point stands"

 

"Yeah you're right" Paige concedes. "It's really aggravating that the media panders to ideas like that and doesn't think outside the box."

 

"Yeah can't say I'm not disappointed in the sheriff. She has a very narrow view of these issues. You would think she would be more educated given who she's married with"

 

Emma just frowns at them? She's not educated? She has a narrow view on things? What? She's the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, married to the former Evil Queen and sister in law to the former wicked witch what gives? She's far from narrow.

 

"I told Henry that book of his has issues."

 

Pages just sighs. "He knows. But he says it's not much he can do about it. It's getting a bit more diverse now,  but yeash you should see the hetero-normative, racist and sometimes misogynistic view of that book up until Henry became author."

 

"Ugh"

 

Hetero-normative? What? What language are these kids speaking? Emma's trying to appear bored and uninterested but she's also sure she fails miserably. The fact that Ava looks at her with narrowed eyes and her head inclined doesn't help.

 

"Say sheriff. Why did you pick 2 female deputies?"

 

"I don't think that's any of your business"

 

"It's for the book” Paige supplies.

 

"How will this help your comic book?"

 

Ava just let's an exasperated sigh probably thinking "Ugh old people"

 

"We are in the process of gathering information. Once we have enough information we can use that to create our stories. Think of it as a fantasy rooted in reality.  So, what made you pick them? Did you ever consider they might not be suited for the job? Did you have opposition that the police force seems mostly female?"

 

"This is not the middle ages. They seemed to be the right people for the job, so they got it."

 

"See? Told you she's ok and not too narrow minded." Paige tells Ava.

 

"Must be because she's married to the mayor" Ava says as she turns to Emma.

 

"Hey I'm plenty modern and open minded." Emma says almost offended.

 

"Hey mom, what's up?" Henry says as he walks into the station and plops down next to her and grabs a piece of bearclaw. "You guys want some?"

 

"No" both girls reply.

 

"Gee mom you could have offered them some"

 

"I don't have to offer bearclaws to anyone who walks into the station. And don't eat them all, your mom will have my head if you do"

 

Ava just looks smug for a second there bends her head down to Paige and whispers "Whipped" and Paige just nods in agreement.

 

"Hey I heard that."

 

They both snicker.

 

"Anyway, we need to go now. We will try to talk to deputy Hua at another time. Bye Henry, bye Sheriff Swan."

 

"Bye" the 2 Swan-Mills say in unison.

 

Henry looks at Emma, eyebrow raised at her in a very Regina way. If she didn't know better she would be inclined to say he's half Regina. Maybe he is, nurture over nature.

 

"What?"

 

"What did you do?"

 

"Nothing, I did nothing".

 

"Ok" he says turning back to the bear claw.

 

"Ok? That's it?" she asks a bit confused

 

"Yeah. See you later. Bye, Ma."

 

"Bye" Emma lifts her hand to wave him goodbye but she's left hanging hand in the air. That was an odd visit.

 

\---------

 

When Emma gets home later that evening she finds her wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. Oven baked fish with an assortment of vegetables. It smells so good Emma's mouth is already watering. She comes behind Regina and hugs her wife from behind, giving her a kiss.

 

"Hello. It smells wonderful" she says, but she's not sure if she means Regina or the food. More likely a combination of both.

 

"Hello, darling." Regina says then she turns around and gives Emma a proper welcome kiss "Welcome home. Dinner will be served shortly. How was your day?"

 

"It was surprisingly uneventful. Which I'm grateful for."

 

"That's good right?" Regina says while she washes some tomatoes for the salad.

 

"I guess. Do you need any help?"

 

"No, I'm almost done."

 

"Hmm"

 

Regina turns and looks at Emma. It's clear something is bothering her wife.

 

"Emma what's going on?"

 

"Nothing."

 

Regina just lifts an eyebrow and looks at her. There's clearly something bothering her and Regina knows it. Regina always knows. She's known since before they even got together.

 

"It's just... Do you think I'm narrow minded?"

 

Regina just snorts.

 

"Come on. Not funny"

 

"Sorry. I just laughed at the notion for a second. No i don't think you're narrow minded."

 

Emma just smiles, Regina always knows how to make her feel better.

 

"... But you can be dense sometimes" and it's gone. "What brought this up?"

 

"Ava and Paige came to the station wanting to talk to Mulan. They're writing  story and wanted Mulan's input. I suggested they can get that prom Tink and it all went downhill from there. They used some big terms for their age. I just don't get what the big deal is."

 

"I see." and Regina just sighs.

 

"What?"

 

Regina just turns and looks at Emma.

 

"If they wanted to speak with Mulan they must have had a story in mind that revolves around a queer woman of color. It's clear Tink would not meet the criteria for more than one reason. Really, Emma, we've discussed this when I told you why I'm angry they killed Abbie Mills."

 

"Ah. Now I get it" Emma says finally understanding. She then starts to laugh at herself "Good thing I didn't suggest they should interview dad." Regina just lifts an eyebrow at her as if saying _You think?_.

 

The oven timer goes off and Regina prepares to take fish out.

 

"Emma, could you take the salad to the dining room? Also grab a bottle of wine while you're at it."

 

Emma complies with her wife's request. She knows she's lucky to have someone like Regina. It's almost as if she hit the jackpot: amazing mother, amazing wife, excellent cook, ambitious career woman with a vast knowledge on social issues and keeps Emma in check and cherry on top of the already amazing cake, her wife is really, really hot. Yeah jackpot right there, she knows she's lucky, and whipped. Nothing wrong with that since Emma's whipped and proud of it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: No beta for this story so all mistakes and missing punctuation is mine. Hope you guys have fun. Also nothing said in this story is meant to be offensive. Let me know what you think. Your opinions are much appreciated.

The next morning finds the sheriff and her deputies gathered around a table in the sheriff's office.

 

"Ok.  So boss,  you can have 1, David you get 1 too and Mulan you get 2." Tink announced in a very confident voice as if what she says it's the law. Mulan eyes the box suspiciously.

 

"Why do I get 2?"

 

"Cause they're cute."

 

"No way"

 

"Yes way. People look up to you. Be an example Mulan, take one for the team" Tink says patting Mulan's back. Mulan just growls at her.

 

"Tink I can't take 1. I have a small kid to think about. Can't expose him to germs like this."

 

"It will be fine. Studies show that exposing children to germs builds their immune system"

 

"Doubt it's the case here."

 

"It's totally the case. Don't argue with science, David."

 

"Emma!" David looks at her in a _do something_ way.

 

"I can't take it, Tink. You know who I'm married with. She'll divorce me."

 

"Traitor." David mutters.

 

"Gotta look out for myself. Sorry dad." Emma has this sheepish look but everyone knows she's not really that sorry.

 

"Doubt she'll divorce you for this. Don't be so dramatic."

 

"I'm not risking it. I love my wife too much. So no."

 

"She'll be fine. Trust me. I've been her friend for ages." Emma just raises an eyebrow at that.

 

"Might have to fight Maleficent for that one".

 

Tink just rolls her eyes.

 

"Say Tink. Why are you not grabbing any?" Mulan just asks arms crossed.

 

"My lease says I'm not allowed".

 

David sees the opportunity and latches unto it.

 

"Well neither can we. Same landlord. So either you take one or neither of us do"

 

Tink just looks at the box in question. She sighs.

 

"Ok I'll have one."

 

"Cool you can have mine" David announces.

 

"No, David, she's taking one from Mulan" Emma steps in. She might have argued against it, but now the idea grows on her.

 

"Fine." David says defeated. He knows Snow will kill him for it. Maybe. Or maybe not. Probably not. She'll probably be excited. He was just trying to… he doesn't know what he was trying.

 

"So then it's decided. We have 1 each" Emma looks around the group and gets nods of approval.

 

"Ok now that it's settled you're all dismissed. Grab one and off you go."

 

\-----

Emma's once again alone in the sheriff station. Now that she has time to think about it she's pretty sure Regina will kill her. Maybe. But she couldn't say no. It was a spur of the moment but she couldn't say no.

 

She's so lost in thought she doesn't notice someone's in the station until they clear their throat.

 

It's Regina.

 

"Oh hi"

 

Regina just looks at Emma.

 

"I see our tax payer money are being wisely used and the Sheriff is working hard for the community."

 

"Yeah." they both look at what Emma's playing with.

 

"Emma get it off the desk you don't know where it came from. You're spreading germs all over and then you'll just put your food there"

 

"It's fine. He's clean. We got it from the animal shelter. They don't have any spaces left so we are taking care of it. "

 

Regina just narrows her eyes.

 

"By _we_ I assume the sheriff department right? Or that one of your deputies will take it home"

 

"Umm, well you see..." 

 

"Spill"

 

"There were 4 in a box and the animal shelter is currently small so they couldn't take care of them. So they were brought here since they didn't know what to do with them and thought we could find them a forever home. I got 1, so do David, Tink and Mulan."

 

"And you decided this without consulting me? Emma!"

 

"What was I about to do? This little fellow was abandoned and needed a home and the animal shelter couldn't take him in. I couldn't let it on the streets." Oh she was playing the card and she knew it. But it was also the truth. That's why she didn't object much and gave in so fast. She did get the one no one wanted and she doesn't mind one bit. She's actually proud.

 

"I just wish you told me about this, Emma."

 

"I know. I just... I didn’t have time"

 

"You do know Henry will want a dog now and we can't say no right?"

 

"I know. I know. At least this one takes himself to the bathroom. Right Skipper?" Emma asks as she pets the tiny grey kitten.

 

"Did you just name the cat Skipper?"

 

"Yes" but Emma looks unconvinced. She's not the most creative when it comes to names.

 

Regina just waves her hand and the cat glows a light pink for a few seconds.

"First, Skipper is a she, and second the name is unsuitable. Don't you think so?" Regina asks the kitten as she picks it up. The kitten meows in response. "Yes I agree." she turns to Emma "The cat hates it too. Pick a better name, Sheriff"

 

"You pick one then" Emma says crossing her arms, and damn that fairy, Regina's ok with the new addition.

 

"Hmm, how about Misty?"

 

"How about boring? Nope. Generic. Don't name a cat after her fur color. Unless you really want to."

 

"All right then. How about Cleo?"

 

"Oh I like that. Classy. What do you say Skipper shall we name you Cleo?"

 

The tiny gray cat meows again in response.

 

"Oh she likes it" and Regina nods in agreement and looks so proud.

 

"What are you guys on about?". Both women turn to the sound of their son's voice.

 

"Cleo, meet Henry. Henry this is Cleo. The animal shelter is at full capacity and couldn't take care her or her siblings so they brought it to the Sheriff station. Your mom and her deputies then decided to each grab a kitten and take care of it. Your grandparents have one as well. Hopefully better named than Emma's first attempt."

 

"Hey!" Emma protests, but she knows it's in vain. She won't live that down easily.

 

"Did you call dibs on the cutest, Ma?"

 

Emma looks uncomfortable at that. She didn't in fact. She got what the others didn't pick and she finds that she doesn't mind that at all. Not even when scrutinized by her son. This kitten also needs a forever family and she got the best.

 

"No, Henry. She didn't pick the cutest. She's a tiny kitten in desperate need of a loving family. We don't care if she's the cutest, or anything really. She's just a kitten that needs help and your mother decided to help by adopting her when no one else wanted her. So no we didn't pick her, and she didn't pick us, but she seems quite happy, and you mom and I are happy with her." Regina must have sensed Emma's discomfort, because the speech to Henry was a not so subtle _don't be insensitive._  

 

"Sorry, Ma. Sorry Cleo." Henry is a smart kid and instantly realized what this was about and that yes he was insensitive to both Emma and Cleo. He goes and pets Cleo as an apology.

 

"So not to sound mean or anything, but can we also get a dog?"

 

"No." Regina warned Emma, Henry wanted a dog for a long time. "Not now. We first need to get Cleo used to us. I'll also see how you 2 are around Cleo, before I allow you to have a dog. Dogs are a require greater responsibilities than cats."

 

"Oh cool. I'll walk her, or brush her and play with her. Can we go buy toys for her?"

 

"Of course. But first we should take her to the vet, have her checked and registered, then we need to buy a cat carrier and food. While there we can look at some toys."

 

"Yes. Let's go. Emma, you're driving. And give me your jacket to carry Cleo in it."

 

Emma complies. She won't say no. Regina really got invested in this kitten. Did someone kidnap her wife?

 

"Also, Henry, you don't walk cats. They can take care of that themselves."

 

Where is her wife and what have they done with her? Since when is Regina so animal friendly? Then she remembers that Regina's really good with horses, she sent a bird to Henry with a message and she's best friends with a dragon. She should not be that surprised. Damn fairy. Good thing she didn't bet on it. She would have lost the bet.

  

\------

"I'm telling you Emma, your mother almost had my head. You'd think that for all the birds I had to endure she would appreciate the cat. She's upset now that having a cat means her birds will have to go away."

 

Emma just listens to David rant.

 

"I tried to explain it to her that it's better for Neal to play with a proper pet like a cat or a dog and she just went at me. I'm glad though Neal took to the cat so she calmed down. For now. She's not happy with me."

 

Leave it to her mom to not get it and be insensitive. She kind of gets where her mother is coming from but at the same time she's quite upset with her reaction. She should know better. Maybe she’s overreacting herself to her mother’s attitude.

 

"How did Regina react?"

 

"Good. Amazingly good. She quickly became super invested in offering Cleo the best home."

 

"Cleo? That's a beautiful name. You chose a good name. Better than me"

 

"What did you name it?"

 

"Umm, don't laugh ok?"

 

"Ok?"

 

"Buster."

 

Emma snorts at that. She’ll tell Regina. Or maybe not. She won’t live the _Skipper_ down for much longer since she’ll blame it on the charming genes. She’ll just give Regina ammunition for teasing. No way.

 

"And mom was ok with that?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Oh, Regina will find out about this one way or another. So much for good luck.

 

"Who's Buster" Tink asks from the doorway.

 

"Oh that's David's cat"

 

"Oh, cool name." but she bursts out laughing.

 

"Hey now"

 

"Sorry I made no promises"

 

"Ok. What did you name yours?" and David is challenging Tink.

 

"After much thought I named mine, Garfield."

 

"You did not think that one at all. You just named it after the cartoon." Emma's rolling her eyes.

 

"Well, whatever. I bet Regina picked the name for your cat."

 

“No she…” but she doesn’t manage to finish the phrase because Tink gives her this look of _Really Emma, really?_

 

"Ok. How did you…"

 

Tink just rolls her eyes and interrupts Emma. "Regina's my best friend. I know she would not let anyone name stuff if she can help it. So what did she name it?"

 

"Cleo."

 

"Aww that's so cute. Wish I thought of it."

 

Emma just snorts. Yeah no way Tink would think of something that nice. She wonders what Mulan named her cat.

 

"Hey we should ask Mulan what she named hers"

 

"Oh I know already. She named it Po."

 

"Po?"

 

"Yes. Had to google it. It means _a soul_ and it's also a variant for _lunar phase._

 

"Ahh. Wow she put a lot of thought into that." David is nothing but amazed. Probably embarrassed by how little thought he put into naming his own pet.

 

"Hey Tink. Random question. Do cats in the Enchanted Forest talk, or you know are smarter than your average cat here?" Emma's just curious. Cleo does meow when they talk to her. She should ask Regina but it's fine, Tink is a fairy, she would probably know a lot too.

 

"Talk? As in human speech?

 

"Yes. That."

 

"Why you want Cleo to give you a magical pen to so you can transform in a warrior for love and justice?"

 

"Tink!"

 

"Sorry, but first the cat has the wrong name, and second, sorry to burst your bubble but no, there are no talking cats that give magical pens like that. If there were you would have to get in line, behind me."

 

"Ha as if. I would totally be the Princess. I even have the Prince, well the Queen, but you get the point."

 

"Emma, I don't care who I get to be as long as I get a magic pen."

 

"Yeah. I'm just calling dibs to be safe. I need Regina and Henry and Cleo, so I call dibs on the Princess."

 

"That's perfectly fine by me."

 

"Yes" Emma pumps a fist.

 

"Emma, they're cartoons. They're not real."

 

"David first of all that’s not just a cartoon, it’s a manga that became an anime and musicals and a live action.  Secondly, that _cartoon_ as you call it is revolutionary ok? So show some respect for one of the greatest shows. Third, you live in a town where everyone is a fairytale character, or a character owned by Disney." Tink then makes a dramatic turn "and with that, your Honor, I rest my case " 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta so all mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think.

"Hi Regina. The usual for you and Emma?" Ruby asks Regina as she goes to the counter.

 

"Just mine today, Ruby. Thank you."

 

Ruby just looks surprised. Emma and Regina are more or less attached at the hip so to see Regina have lunch on her own surprises Ruby. Regina must have noticed the confused look on ruby's face and rather than give way to rumors she decides to tell Ruby why she's not having lunch with her wife.

 

"Emma has a day off today and will be spending it at home."

 

"Ah, ok. Your usual is coming right up."

 

"Thank you Ruby", and with that Regina turns and looks around the diner. She spots 3 blondes seating together in a booth and heads to greet them.

 

"Hello ladies." Regina greets as she takes a seat next to Katherine.

 

The three blondes greet her as well.

 

"Is Emma joining us today?" Maleficent asks. Despite the whole slay the dragon incident Emma and Maleficent are getting along quite well. Lilly is by far Emma's best friend, outside Regina, and Maleficent is Regina's best friend or close to that if anyone asked Tink. Katherine was always a runner up on those. Not that she minded.

 

"Emma has the day off. Having 2 more deputies gives her some breathing room and it's good she's able to take a day or so off. It's been a long time since she's had some time off."

 

"what do you think she's up to?"

 

"Binge watch Netflix? Eat junk food? That's what Emma considers a good day off" Regina just rolls her eyes.

 

"Nothing wrong with some Netflix and chill. I believe that's what they call it."

 

Three sets of eyes turn to look at Maleficent. Regina just goes beet red, Kathrine just clears her throat and Tink just starts to snicker.

 

"What?"

 

"Mal," Katherine asks looking a bit amused herself now that she got over the shock, "who told you about this phrase?"

 

"Lilly. Why?" Maleficent just looks confused around that table. Regina for her part nearly chokes on her drink. Tink's eyes get big and she's about to laugh but catches herself at the last minute to ask:

 

"Who did Lilly Netflix and chill with?"

 

"Some fairy. Ok I've had it. What's this thing all about?"

 

"Tink?" Katherine asks amused.

 

"It wasn't me. I swear." It's plainly clear they're all terrified of telling a mama dragon what that means.

 

Ruby saves them by bringing their orders.

 

\------

Meanwhile Emma was enjoying her day off. She managed to sleep in for the first time in a long time. She had some breakfast and her coffee that Regina kindly prepared for her and kept them warm with magic. She turned up the music and had it blast. She was pretty sure it could be heard from across down the street. She was in a mood for some trashy hiphop.

 

This of course got her in a weird domestic mood, which was odd. Deciding that no one was around to interrupt her, she got dressed in a plain old wife beater. She went to the garage to grab the tool belt and decided she will try to fix the leaking tap in the downstairs bathroom. They've realised not long ago to not try and fix appliances with magic. They had a tendency to break down if magic ever became unavailable.

 

She pulled out her phone and watched a YouTube video of how to fix the leaking pipe. By 12:30 she managed to fix the pipe with just a minor incident which resulted in a small puddle in the bathroom and Emma’s top being soaked. Nothing major. A bit of water didn't hurt anyone. She decided to document the moment least her family will not believe her. She got under the sink again and using magic she took a picture of herself pointing towards a fixed pipe.

 

\-----

 

Meanwhile in the diner…

 

"I'm telling you she really likes someone."

 

"Well Emma told me she liked Aurora but that's a no go."

 

"Aurora is nice, but I agree it's never going to work out for her with Aurora." being a princess herself, Katherine was friends with some of the princesses. She still barely tolerated Snow. If she was honest with herself, she only tolerated Snow because Regina was her best friend, and Regina was Snow’s daughter in law. If there was an anti-Snow club Katherine was sure she would be the vice-president.  

 

"Lost cause that one, just like her mother. Runs in the family. Always settling for less rather than the best." Maleficent is not particularly fond of Aurora. Tolerates her but that's about where it stops. Regina knows Maleficent had a not so pleasant history with king Stefan. She gets it. She was never fond of any of Emma's potential suitors and she can't imagine being too civil towards any of those that are still alive.

 

"Yeah. I don't think it's Aurora. It's definitely someone else. She's really weird about it."

 

Maleficent looks at Tink and says with an air of nonchalance.

 

"Tink I suggest you stay out of people's love lives if you value your own safety."

 

"What? That was one time and I apologized for it. I am really sorry. I won't do something like that this time. I'm just trying to figure out who it is. I'm working on my detective skills."

 

"We think that you get a bit over excited and involved and sometimes people are not ready. Mulan is not like you. If you get over excited and you push her, you'll ruin it for her and you don't want that do you?" Regina says in a calm tone that's really matter of fact.

 

"I guess you're right."

 

"Hey guys. Anything else you would like?" Ruby once again interrupts their discussion.

 

"No. Thank you Ruby."

 

Regina's phone vibrates. She picks it up and she sees a text and a picture from Emma.

 

**E: Hey wifey, are u having fun? Can't say I don't miss having lunch with u but I've kept busy.**

 

The picture doesn't help at all. Emma under the sink all sweaty by the looks of it, having just fixed a leaking pipe, her arms on display. Regina’s mouth goes dry; those arms should be illegal. Regina often says Emma's arms are more like arm porn, although at this stage the whole picture screams porn as its clear Emma's not wearing a bra either and well she can see a bit through the wet top. Emma will be the death of her one day, but what a way to go.

 

**R: Well done my love. But there's something else that’s dripping and I want you to fix it.**

**E: Oh yeah? What?**

 

Regina doesn't respond to Emma's text. Instead she gets up from the table and apologies to her friends for cutting this lunch meeting short. She leaves a $20 and just profs away.

 

Kathrine, Ruby, Tink and Mal are left staring at the dissipating purple smoke.

 

"Well I guess Emma might get some Netflix and chill after all," Tink says resuming her meal.  Ruby and Kathrine nod in agreement.

 

However, the sound of someone snorting their drink and chocking on it startles the three. They all turn to Maleficent, who not only fights a cough cause by chocking on her tea, but also sports a small blush. Tink has never seen the woman so unsettled before. Tink feels a smirk forming on her lips. Looks like the dragon realised what her daughter was telling her.

 

"Are you ok?" Katherine asks concerned.

 

"Yes. But Lilly won't be. Or that fairy. "

 

Tink snorts but becomes instantly serious as Maleficent glares at her.

 

"Is something funny?" Maleficent asks all serious business.

 

Tink almost feels like gulping, the dragon is intimidating as hell. She might get one those magic bullet proof vests herself.

 

"No. I’m sorry," but Tink still let's out a nervous laugh. Maleficent just raises an eyebrow and Tink instantly quiets down. She's a sheriff's deputy but she won't risk it.

 

A camera flash goes off nearby. Red and Katherine then burst out laughing. Maleficent joins them a few seconds later.

 

"You should have seen your face," Red joins in the conversation.

 

"Ha ha.  Very funny."

 

"As a matter of fact it was. It's good to know I still have it in me," Maleficent says then she continues to drink her tea.

 

"I have it on camera," Katherine says looking very proud of herself.

 

_‘Savages.  All of them,’_ that's all Tink thinks as she continues her meal.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait on this story. It took me forever to update this story. But I was finally able to sit down and finish this chapter. Let me know what you think.

The seed Tink planted in Regina's mind about Mulan was starting to take roots. She didn't intend to have that happen she wasn't matchmaker material. But she couldn't help but notice Mulan's interest in someone. Someone who Regina had a vested interest in.

 

She was once again having lunch with her wife. Her attention however was grabbed by something outside, or rather someone. Regina looked on completely oblivious to her surroundings. Her expression turned to confusion.

 

"Regina, are you OK?" Emma looks towards her wife then outside the window trying to see what her wife was looking at. It was just people passing by. That was odd.

 

"Yes, I'm fine."

 

She decides to turn back to her lunch and devoted all her attention to her wife, the outside "incident" completely forgotten.

 

\------------

 

The following day finds Regina accepting to look after her niece for the evening. Her sister came to her that afternoon asking if she could look after the girl. Having nothing better to do she accepted.

 

"Hi honey," Emma says entering the kitchen. She makes her way to the brunette turning her around to kiss her lips.

 

"Mmmm. So good. I missed you."

 

"Missed you too," Emma says going to kiss Regina's neck. The brunette can't help the moan that escapes her and this only spurs Emma on, adding a few nips knowing they'll drive her wife mad with want. To her surprise however, Regina pushes her head away.

 

"We have company"

 

"Mhmmm" Emma dives right back in grabbing Regina's earlobe between her teeth and pulling gently. Regina moans again and Emma can't help the smirk that makes its way to her face.

 

"Emma, I'm serious," Regina pushes Emma away even if she feels like screaming in frustration. Emma is clearly in a good mood, spurred on perhaps by Henry spending the evening with his grandfather and Belle.

 

Emma looks a bit dejected and starts pouting until she's distracted by a tiny red blur running towards her.

 

"Emma, pick me"

 

Emma's sadness doesn't last long, this tiny red bundle is always a handful but she loves every minute of it. She's certainly more energetic than her brother, and ok top of it she's somehow become Emma's biggest fan.

 

"Oh, hello there Pistachio" Emma lifts her up and throws her a but in the air. The girl starts to laugh.

 

"Ok kids, dinner is almost ready. Why don't you two go set up the table."

 

At Regina's request Emma grabs her niece and puts her on her shoulders, grabbing some plates to take to the dining room. She stops to give Regina a small peck on the lips, then lowers herself so Regina can also give the kid a kiss on the forehead.

 

"Babysitting?"

 

"Last minute request from Zelena."

 

As Emma goes towards the dining room Regina grabs the food and heads towards the dining room, all the way there wondering what her sister was up too.

 

Dinner goes without a hitch and after one hour of play the kid is finally asleep in one of the guest rooms. Emma and Regina are on the couch cuddling. That's all they can do for now while waiting for Zelena to come pick up her daughter. Emma's head is on Regina's chest, and Regina absent mindedly combs her hand through Emma's hair. 

 

"You've been zoning out all evening. What's going on?"

 

"Nothing"

 

"Regina."

 

"Fine. It's my sister. I think she went on a date."

 

"Really? With who?"

 

"I have no idea." but Emma just lifts an eyebrow in that unique way Emma does when she's silently calling bullshit on Regina's lies.

 

"Ok, fine, I think it's with Mulan."

 

Emma smirks at the admission. Regina just fakes annoyance muttering something along the lines of "you and your stupid lie detector" which makes Emma feel even better.

 

"I don't see a problem with it. Mulan is great. She's quite relaxed and chill. A perfect complement to your sister."

 

"I don't want her heartbroken. It's really hard for her being a former villain and all, but she also has a small child, that has magic and…"

 

"You worry too much. If it is Mulan you can rest assured she's fine. Mulan would know what she's getting herself into. Now if it was Tink she's dating, I would be worried."

 

"You're right."

 

\------------

 

Zelena comes to pick up her daughter at around 9pm that night. She looks to be in really good spirits and Emma thinks about grilling her a bit, so she invites her over for some tea. Zelena refuses stating she must take her daughter home but that she'll have that tea some other time.

 

Once they are alone, Regina turns towards her wife.

 

"What are you thinking about?"

 

"I was thinking we should have a barbeque and invite your sister and Mulan and see for ourselves if your suspicion is right."

 

Regina thinks for a few moments and then agrees to it. They both pull out their phones to look at their calendars to see when the best time to go there would be.

 

"We can't next Saturday, cause Henry has a soccer game, then on Sunday we play baseball" Regina says looking at her calendar.

 

"How about the Sunday after?"

 

"Will you be up to for a barbeque and playing host to all these people after Saturday though?" Regina has a look of concern on her face.

 

"Ugh true that. Didn't think about it. Good thing you're taking us there."

 

"I couldn't let you drive after a night out with the deputies. We must set an example and if this means finding a sober driver so be it."

 

Emma approaches her wife and wraps her arms around her.

 

"I love you so much."

 

"I love you too, Emma," and she lets out a moan as Emma resumes her earlier ministrations.

 

"What do you say we take this upstairs?" Emma breathes in Regina's ear. Regina grabs her face and kisses her.

 

"Too far," she says as she pulls Emma close to her and starts to unbutton her shirt.

 

"Someone's eager" Emma says as they break the kiss and she lifts Regina up letting the brunette wrap her legs around her.

 

"You have no idea," Regina says as she bends her head to kiss Emma once again, all thoughts of barbeques and sisters forgotten.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry has a soccer game and Emma is the coach. Some arrogant dude from out of town makes a bet with Regina. Let me know what you think.

The following week is quiet. Regina tries to get as much information from her sister as possible as to who she's dating. She comes up empty handed.

 

On Saturday they went to Henry's soccer match. Emma was the coach alongside Mulan. It's all volunteer work and the town becomes even more fond of their sheriff and all three deputies for all their hard work and dedication. Having them volunteer around town helped built the community's trust in the department.

 

And so Regina finds herself sitting in the stands and watching Emma give instructions to the team. She can't help but feel proud of her son and wife. Heck they could lose and she would still be proud of both of them, but that was beside the point. She also understands why some parents go over the top in cheering their children. She would totally do that if Henry didn't find that to be uncool.

 

"Is your kid playing?"

 

Regina looks at the person who addressed her and she sees a young man around Emma's age.

 

"Yes."

 

"Haven't seen you around. Your team must have qualified for the first time."

 

"Yes well, we've had other pursuits in our town. It's only recently we got someone invested in coaching soccer."

 

"Well, good luck. I guess your son will need it," the man says to Regina.

 

Regina huffs at that. Her son doesn't need luck. They are quite good at this game. 

 

\---------

 

They sat in silence as the game started but a few minutes later and the guy breaks the silence.

 

"Your son's team is not bad."

 

"Thank you."

 

"How come his father is not here watching him play?"

 

Regina starts to feel exasperated. Too many personal questions and she doesn't feel like sharing her life with a stranger.

 

"His father passed away a few years ago," Regina decides to go with the truth.

 

"I'm sorry for your loss. You must have loved him very much if you still wear the wedding band."

 

Regina understands that the man tries to be sympathetic but in this case it's really not welcome. She didn't care for anyone Emma dated, ever.

 

"I know how small towns are like. It's really hard to move on, but it's a pity such a gorgeous woman as yourself, makes herself unavailable to the world. It's a sacrilege. But I would not mind helping you overcome your grief."

 

Regina narrowed her eyes. Was this man hitting on her? She felt like rolling her eyes, this was such a poor attempt at a pick-up game.

 

"Actually, I am married, right now, with my son's other mother."

 

"Oh, wow, such a pity if you ask me. I mean you are very hot and I'm sure you will have no difficulty in finding a …"

 

"Let me stop you right there. Did you come here to watch your kid play a game, or pick up women? I can assure you I'm not interested in the slightest. I can also assure you most women at a soccer game won't fall for your games."

 

The guy looks at her with arrogance born out of vain stupidity for being quite attractive.

 

"Ten bucks I'll have the blonde coach's number when the final whistle blows."

 

Regina looks at him and can't believe her ears or eyes but hey the fool is up to lose some money, who's she to say no.

 

"You're on."

 

A few minutes later he makes his move by joining the coach of the opposing team and then he makes his way towards Emma. Except that Emma barely pays attention to him as she's too busy with the game. Mulan spares a glance in Regina's direction as if to gesture what's up with this one to which Regina simple puts her index to her temple and rotates it and then gestures to leave him be. Mulan snorts.

 

By the end of the second half Emma was getting irritated.

 

"Ok, dude, what the heck do you want? You've been pestering me for the past 30 minutes."

 

"Ok fine I made a bet with someone that I would get your number by the end of the game."

 

Emma rolls her eyes. Really? Is this the new pick up tactic guys had these days to get a phone number or a kiss or something? Pathetic. This guy looked pretty desperate.

 

"Who did you make the bet with?"

 

"The woman in the red shirt."

 

Emma looks and sees Regina in the stands. She was somehow the only one wearing a red shirt that day. The reserves Emma had with her also look and when they see this they start laughing.

 

"I'll pass."

 

"We can do 50-50," the man tries to negotiate.

 

"Nah, you see, I'll still be $5 out of pocket. You better go pay her."

 

The guy stares at her mouth open and Mulan simply snorts, as do the reserves.

 

"What?"

 

"Dude," one of the teens in Emma's team says "better go pay Mayor Swan-Mills. Coach, here, is  married to her."

 

The guy stares in shock and the final whistle blows. Henry's team won. Regina makes her way down to Emma. She passes the guy and goes to kiss her wife. She then turns to the guy and holds her palm up.

 

"You tricked me."

 

"How did I trick you? You made the bet, I only accepted. Pay up."

 

The guy grabs a $10 and gives it to Regina just as the team approaches them.

 

Regina decides that small detour is in order and they stop at a local Taco Bell to treat the kids for their victory. As the team celebrates Emma pulls Regina to the side.

 

"Why did you make the bet with that guy?"

 

"He was acting like an arrogant prick. First saying it was a waste I was single then a pity I'm with a woman. He bet me $10 he will get your phone number."

 

"Hmmm. He sounds stupid."

 

"Oh trust me he is. You, my darling, radiate the  gay. I don’t know how you’ve fooled people into thinking you're anything but that."

 

"I can't disagree with that. Even if it weren't the case, just know I'm really gay for you"

 

"Just that?" Regina says with a hint of disappointment.

 

"And I'm really in love with you" Emma says and Regina responds by giving her a peck on the lips.

 

**TBC**

 


	7. Chapter 7

On Saturday, Regina is driving the sheriff and her deputies out of town for a staff party. Lucky for them Snow has agreed to look after the town with Ruby's help. Zelena is the emergency back up in very serious situations. 

 

In fact if she didn't suspect her sister is dating Mulan, Regina would have been surprised at how eager Zelena was to help.

 

First stop was a meal anywhere but Granny's, possibly greasy and so the consensus was they will stop at McDonald's. Regina rolled her eyes but still ordered a BigMac with fries for herself.

 

The next stop was laser tag. Initially Emma wanted paintball but Regina convinced her out of it because of possible bruises. Emma whined saying that’s where the fun was but soon gave in.

 

Then by evening they made their way to a local bar where they ordered drinks and food at Regina's insistence.

 

The bar was a mixed one for all they could tell, and that was brilliant. Once the meals were delivered and eaten and each cop had a beer or two in them they started to play pool. Regina decided to quietly stay at the table, drinking apple juice and updating her mother in law and sister.

 

Two texts in and Regina was convinced Zelena was dating Mulan. Why else would she care if they're having fun and demand pictures. Regina made sure to give her sister a few shots of Mulan alone putting a wink emoji under it. To her surprise, Zelena replied with a smiley emoji followed by a green heart.

 

She was happy their desk gave her a good view of the pool table and of Emma. It was moments like these she was happy she wasn’t drunk. Teams were Tink/Emma and Mulan/David.

 

After a while Emma managed to goad Regina into playing pool herself, while Emma watched from the sidelines. Seeing Regina bent over the table, however was a really bad idea as Emma started to get more and more aroused as she continued to watch her wife. Regina must have sensed it, and upped her sexiness game. As soon as the game was over, Emma grabbed Regina's hand and dragged her to the ladies bathroom.

 

"Emma, it's incredibly unsanitary" Regina knew what this was all about.

 

"It will be fine. I need you. Please," she started kissing Regina dragging her into a stall.

 

Regina felt a thrill run down her spine at the idea of having sex with Emma in a public bathroom. Must have been the Queen side of her, not that she cared about any of this.

 

"Emma, no. It's dirty."

 

"You've got to be kidding me. You dragged me into the forest where we had sex on a magic moss infested log, yet you won't have sex with me in a bathroom?"

 

"I can assure you the forest floor was more sanitary than this. Plus the effects of the magic moss passed within hours. This bathroom screams ugly fungus infections that you will never be rid off."

 

"You've got to be kidding me." Emma crosses her arms.

 

"I'm just looking out for you. Now let's get out of here."

 

Emma rolls her eyes and and groans, loudly, but then follows Regina. Regina grabs her purse and picks up some wet wipes and hands one to Emma. Emma picks it up without comment and cleans her hands.

 

Emma heads to the bar and orders a whisky on the rocks. Screw the beer, she needs something stronger.

 

"Oh on to the hard stuff?"

 

Emma only side eyes Tink. Tink orders a Tequila and orange. Mulan sticks to the beer but David decides to go for the Jack Daniels. A few glasses later and they're all getting quite drunk. Regina's keeping tabs of their drinks and she paid the bartender a hefty tip to stay informed of their alcohol intake.

 

"I want to hook up. Mulan be my wingman."

 

"I'm not helping you."

 

"Ugh, you suck. I'll go to Regina."

 

Tink goes to Regina and sits next to her.

 

"I want to hook up with someone."

 

"And you're telling me this because?"

 

"Oh, hot guys" Tink tries to grab their attention and whatever they did worked cause the guys came over to where Tink and Regina were.

 

The guys are obviously hitting on both of them and Regina's having none of it.

 

"Come on, just a drink. I ordered it for you"

 

Regina lifts an eyebrow.

 

"Not interested." The guy sees where Regina’s looking and he sees Emma and David.

 

"Seriously? That guy? Here" he slides his card "if you're ever in need of an adventure…"

 

"It's actually the woman," but she grabs the card, looks at it, then looks into her purse. The guy is smirking. Regina's face still holds a bored expression as she picks up a lighter and sets the card on fire and watches it burn with an evil smirk forming on her face. Then using her best evil queen voice she tells the guy

 

"If I were you I would leave this place, before I set you on fire"

 

"Lady, you're crazy."

 

"I'm not. I'm simply a strong believer in no means no. Now shoo."

 

The guy gulps and leaves and Regina makes eye contact with Emma. She's seen the exchange. If Emma was aroused before she was double that now. This party had to end. 

 

\-------

 

The party went on for another hour or so to Emma's desperation. David, Mulan and Tink were having a good time. Emma for her part went to sit next to her wife and started to cling to her.

 

"Does my koala bear want a coke or a snack?"

 

"No," and the blonde tightens her grip on the mayor. "Everybody is hitting on you."

 

"Is this why you're clinging?"

 

"No."

 

"Okay. But you need to let go. I need to use the toilet."

 

Emma loosens her grip a bit.

 

"I'm coming too."

 

Regina's about to make a snarky remark when she notices Emma's strange movement. She really needs to use the toilet as well it seems.

 

"Come along, my love."

 

Regina grabs her arm and drags her towards the toilet. She gives Emma a serious look over as they reach their destination to make sure she'll be ok on her own.

 

Emma enters a stall as soon as they are there and Regina sighs in frustration. She doesn't know why she feels frustrated though.

 

As they make their way to the others Emma clings to her side.

 

"Emma, go have fun with them."

 

"No."

 

As they make it back to their table Tink joins them on the other side of Regina. Emma's arms are around Regina's neck and her head rests on the brunette's shoulder.

 

"All partied out?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Is Emma ok?"

 

"Yeah, she is. She's just a clingy koala when she's drunk." Regina turned her head to kiss the top of Emma's head.

 

"Only with you" and Regina smiles at Emma's reply.

 

\-------------

 

As they drive back in the dark, Emma all but falls asleep in the front seat. David and Regina smile fondly at the blonde.

 

"Regina, I need to use the loo."

 

Regina groans in frustration.

 

"Emma, I asked you before we left if you need to use the toilet. You said no. Now ten minutes later you need it."

 

"Please."

 

"Okay. I'll pull at a gas station."

 

A few minutes later they pull over at a gas station. They all get out of the car as Emma bolts to a toilet followed by Mulan.

 

As they approach the car, they hear the beginning of a joke David starts to tell. They all start laughing, rather loudly. Regina shakes her head.

 

As she's about to ask them to get back in the car, a policeman approaches them in the parking lot of the gas station.

 

"Good evening."

 

Regina looks at the cop and Emma and the deputies start to burst out laughing.

 

"Good evening, officer" Regina always the politician even in the middle of the night.

 

"Seems you lot are really happy."

 

"Yes, well they just had a staff party." In these moments Regina wishes she was dressed in one of her power suits.

 

"Now, if you don’t mind us we'll be on our way."

 

Emma stops laughing when she hears Regina's tone. She is an expert in all things Regina even if she's drunk.

 

"And who is the driver?"

 

"I am," the obviously was left unsaid by Regina.

 

"Then you wouldn't mind if you did a breath test, do you?"

 

"No."

 

Emma had enough.

 

"She's not drunk, she's our sober driver. I would know, 'cause I'm the sheriff."

 

"Sheriff hmm?" the policeman doesn't look impressed at all.

 

"Sheriff station staff party. These are the deputies and yes, Emma here, is the sheriff."

 

"And she's the mayor and my wife." Emma interrupts Regina.

 

"Yes. All that," turning her attention to the cop she asks him in a very polite voice "Now if you don’t mind doing that test so I can take them home?"

 

The policeman smirks at that.

 

"Right away M'am."

 

He returns moments later with the test, and Regina passes it.

 

"Seems you're all clear. Thank you for your cooperation and drive safely."

 

"Thank you officer."

 

She turns to the gang.

 

"Anyone needs to go to the toilet? I'm not stopping again until we get home."

 

Tink raises her hand and then heads towards the gas station. David takes a moment to think before he heads there as well.

 

The cop sits a bit in his car watching the interactions before he drives away, feeling confident the gang were in good hands.

 

\---------

 

Once they arrive home, Regina drops the deputies at their homes before driving with Emma towards their own home.

 

She's too tired to do anything major so she simply helps Emma dress in her PJ's and gets in bed. As soon as she's settled in Emma goes to cling to her.

 

"Did you have a good time, Emma?"

 

"Yes."

 

Regina starts to caress Emma’s hair.

 

"Good night, my love"

 

"G' Night" Emma mumbles and she's starting to fall asleep mouth open and drooling just a bit. Although her shoulder will be soaked in the morning, Regina can’t help the smile that forms on her lips.

 

Tbc

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logically, I should write the BBQ chapter, but I went a bit ahead and wrote this one instead, since I wanted some Regina related fluff. Let me know what you think.

Emma had a rubbish day at work. It was rainy and stuffy and she had to chase Pogo through the forest once again. It would have been okay if she didn’t slip and ended up covered in mud. Wet and frustrated she made it home hoping her family will provide some much needed warmth and love and hugs and kisses. Lots of kisses from Regina. She did clean herself with magic but it didn’t stop Emma from feeling down and in need of quality family time. She sees Regina's car is already parked and she all but runs towards the house.

 

"Hey honey, I'm home."

 

She receives no reply from Regina and this worries her.

 

"Honey?" She goes into the kitchen and sees the roast in the oven, the smell making Emma ten times hungrier than she already was.

 

"Regina?" She asks again not seeing her wife anywhere.

 

She goes towards the stairs thinking she'll look upstairs. It's then that she hears a small pained meow coming from the downstairs bathroom. Cleo.

 

"Hold still Cleo. Let me look."

 

Emma heads towards the bathroom and sees Regina holding Cleo near the sink, some cotton strewn across the sink.

 

"Regina? What are you doing?"

 

"I'm trying to clean Cleo's chin. She has dirt in it but it won't come off. I don’t know where she got her head stuck but it annoys me that it's not coming off."

 

"Regina, honey, let Cleo go. She's not happy. She's a clean kitten and I'm sure she'll get herself cleaned up. Aren't you Cleo?" Emma goes and scratches the kitten's tiny head and picks her up from her wife's arms, giving her tiny kisses on top of the head.

 

Regina pouts and crosses her arms.

 

"What?" Emma asks still holding Cleo.

 

"You kissed Cleo before you kissed me."

 

"Oh" she leans in to kiss Regina.

 

"Wash your face first," the brunette says as she turns around to clean the sink. Emma kisses Cleo a couple of times then lets her go. She goes to the sink and washes her face knowing that Regina wont kiss her otherwise, and she missed her wife's kisses.

 

All cleaned up she turns to Regina and grabs her, giving her a searing kiss.

 

\---------

 

A few days later Emma finds Regina inspecting Cleo's chin again.

 

"Emma, this stuff is not going down. I'm taking her to the vet. I made a booking for tomorrow at 9. Don't let her out of the house in the morning."

 

"It's just dirt. Let her be."

 

"It's not dirt. I think she has cat acne."

 

Emma blinks and then bursts out laughing.

 

"It's not funny, Emma."

 

"Cats can't get acne."

 

"Yes they can. From stress or food."

 

"Well she's getting Whiskas not budget brands and why would she be stressed? Maybe she's stressed because you inspect her so much."

 

"Emma, we are taking her to the vet."

 

"Fine," Emma knows when a battle is lost. No way she can win this one, not when Regina’s mind is so set on things.

 

\--------

 

The next morning Regina goes to the vet and Emma decides to accompany her.

 

3 minutes in the examination room and Emma's glad she came with Regina, since the brunette is ready to set the doctor on fire when he suggests Cleo's reaction is to a flea bite.

 

Regina insists it's not flea bites that Cleo is treated for fleas and they don't have fleas and how dare the doctor suggest that.

 

"Madame Mayor, I don’t suggest you have fleas, but it is possible that she got bitten by a stray flea. I'll give you a cream and you need to apply it every night and the chin should clear up."

 

Regina accepts the bottle and grabs Cleo making her way out of the clinic and letting Emma pay the fees.

 

"I see the Mayor is really attached to the kitten."

 

Emma gives the receptionist a sheepish smile and shrugs her shoulders.

 

"You have no idea."

 

\------

 

A week passes and Cleo's chin is still not clean. Not to mention that she hates having the cream put on and after 3 days Emma and Regina can't even say _"we have to put the cream on Cleo"_ because the kitten just goes and hides under the table.

 

Emma and Regina are fascinated by how smart Cleo is, picking up words and knowing what they mean for her. They're definitely proud and impressed of the kitten. Regina's not so impressed with the cream or the vet. After a week of torturing Cleo, in Emma's words, Regina takes her back to the vet.

 

"Cleo is not improving. She's getting worse and keeps rubbing her chin all the time. You need to investigate what's wrong with her."

 

"It's a flea bite. Continue to put the cream."

 

"It's not a flea bite. She doesn't have fleas. She's clean. Give her something for acne."

 

"Acne?"

 

"Yes, acne. She has acne. I googled it."

 

The doctor lets out a long suffering sigh.

 

"Madame mayor, cats don't have acne. I'm telling you it's a reaction to flea bites. She that red there?" he points at her chin, "Flea bite. But I'll give her an injection and you continue to put that cream on."

 

 

Regina glares at the vet and has all but a murderous look.

 

When they're out of the Vet office Regina turns to Emma, Cleo in her arms, since they never carry Cleo in a cat carrier. She's a good kitty that never scratches.

 

"Emma, he's incompetent. I want to see another Vet."

 

"There are no other vets in Storybrooke. Maybe he's right. Lets see how she does after this injection."

 

"If it doesn't improve within a week I'm taking her all the way to Boston if I must."

 

Regina stops with the car door open for Regina and Cleo and stares at her wife. Regina's serious, her lie detector is never wrong.

 

\---------

 

Four days later and more cream torture for Cleo, her chin gets worse rather than better. It gets inflamed and she starts to bleed. When Regina sees that she's murderous. It's 8pm though and the Vet is not open. Not that Regina will ever take Cleo to the Storybrooke vet ever again.

 

"Emma, Cleo's chin is bleeding."

 

"What?" Emma gets up from the couch and looks at Regina, who holds a sick Cleo. Regina has tears in her eyes.

 

"Cleo is hurting. Her chin is bleeding. She scratched on the desk and when I looked she started bleeding."

 

"Ok. I'll call the Vet right away, I'll ask him to come over."

 

"No. I'm taking her outside town."

 

Emma's eyes become the size of saucers.

 

"It's 8pm. No vet will be open."

 

"There's an emergency vet clinic in Boston."

 

Emma's mouth opens and then closes.

 

"You're not serious are you?"

 

"I'm very serious. I'll drive if you're too tired and you can hold Cleo."

 

Emma can't put any fight in. Regina's mind is set and she'll get Emma to drive all the way to Boston now. Not that Emma cares too much after all Cleo is hurt and nothing they tried worked.

 

\------------

 

They have a very fast drive to Boston since Regina tells Emma to step on it. They arrive at the clinic and after a 30 minute wait a doctor is ready to see them.

 

"What seems to be the problem?"

 

Regina looks at Emma and Emma knows she'll have to talk, because Regina's not in a good spot now with vets.

 

"Cleo, here, scratched her chin until she bled. Two weeks ago we saw some dirt on her chin, that would not come off. We took her to the local vet, he said it's flea bites and treated her for that, but she's actually gotten worse, and her chin got inflamed and is bleeding now."

 

"Let's have a look shall we?"

 

The doctor picks Cleo and starts to inspect her chin, measures her weight inspects her all over. She then turns to Emma and Regina.

 

"She has cat acne."

 

"What?!" Both Emma and Regina burst at the same time.

 

"She has cat acne. Certain cats are prone in their teenage years to develop acne. It can be caused by many things such as stress, food allergy, allergies."

 

Emma's eyes are big while Regina is positively fuming.

 

"I told that imbecile to treat her for acne, but no, he insisted she was bitten by a flea."

 

"Regina…" Emma warns her to stop the rant and then turns and gives a sheepish smile to the doctor. "She's really attached to Cleo, and Cleo to her."

 

"I can tell. It's fine. She'll be ok. I'll give her a shot that will help with the acne. I'll also give her an antibiotic cream to help with the wound and prevent an infection. She should be ok in no time."

 

"Thank you doctor."

 

Regina looks really grateful as she pets Cleo's tiny head.

 

"What do you feed her? Do you use a plastic bowl?"

 

"We feed her Whiskas. It's popular and all over TV commercials. We use a ceramic bowl for her. Why?"

 

"Cats can have an allergic reaction to plastic bowls. Was she stressed? New addition to the family? Changes around the house?" the doctor asks as she prepares the shot.

 

"No, none of that."

 

The shot all done the doctor congratulates Cleo for being a good kitten she then focuses on Regina and Emma.

 

"Certain cats can have an allergy to more generic brands of food, like Whiskas or Friskies or budget brands. I recommend you change her food to a different brand. Try not to feed her any cream, butter or too many cat treats. They have high fat content and that can trigger acne."

 

Regina looks at Emma and Emma looks at the floor. She does feed Cleo a lot of cream and cat treats, even if Regina tries to limit what Cleo has, for health reasons, Emma and Henry love to spoil her with food and yummy treats, or what Cleo sees as yummy.

 

"Thank you doctor. We will do that."

 

\-------

 

Emma and Regina leave the Vet office, Regina carrying Cleo while Emma carries 4 different bags of cat food plus a smaller bag of tinned cat food of carious assortments. They'll try the different food and look out for which Cleo wants to eat and which gives her a breakout. Cleo's quite fussy with the food and she barely eats any canned food. She definitely doesn't touch human food sticking to the hard cat food of certain brands. Emma tried to get her on a more budget brand and Cleo refused to eat for 24 hours. David and Tink rolled their eyes at Emma, while Mulan gave her a thumbs up. Turns out Mulan was spoiling Po like crazy and she thought Regina was bad when it came to Cleo.

 

After a month of trials Cleo stopped getting food allergy and to Emma's horror the most expensive food was her favourite and the only one she didn't get a breakout from or actually ate.

 

"Of course she would go for the top of the food chain, of course," Emma groans and moans to Regina one day.

 

 "I don't see a problem with it."

 

"I do. She refuses to eat almost any other brand now except this one and they don't sell it in Storybrooke which means I have to drive 2 hours to grab her some food. Can't she just eat some mice or birds? Not to mention all the food we wasted"

 

Regina scowls at her and crosses her arms.

 

"How barbaric of you. Cleo is being a good kitten not eating wildlife like that. And the food was not wasted, we gave it to Mulan. Po was happy with it," that was true at least and Emma knew it. David and Tink refused to move their cats from budget brands saying they're fine.

 

"As for driving out of town, think about taking your wife out of this town once in a while on some date, and while you are at it, you buy some cat food as well."

 

Emma narrows her eyes at Regina but, as Regina's words sink in, she starts to look embarrassed. She hasn't actually taken Regina out on a proper date in forever. In fact Regina hasn't taken her for a date in forever either, now that she thinks about it. Maybe it will do them some good to go out, maybe book a hotel and spend the night. Emma's already making plans for it.

 

"Ok, you have a point."

 

"I always do," Regina's look is pure smugness.

 

Emma wraps her arms around Regina and kisses her neck then gives a small nip of Regina's earlobe, which makes Regina moan.

 

"What do you say we take this upstairs?"

 

"Mmmm, finally something we can agree on."

 

Emma smiles into the kiss, knowing she had Regina wrapped around her finger with a simple kiss or a simple look and she herself started to feel really smug about it.

 

 

  **TBC**


End file.
